Enough with the negativities :) more cute summer closes

Some other summer tops I picked up for our trip to CA

I think this one is truly cute!!

This one has rhinestons and a tie at the bottom

Today is one of those days "HELP"

Gympact App Makes You Pay for Skipping Workouts | Oddity Central - Collecting Oddities

Would you buy this app if you knew you would have to pay money every time you miss working out at the gym?

What motivates you to work out?
What scares you about getting healthy?
What would you be willing to change in order to be healthy and thin?

I watched my husband leave to workout every day and never joined him. I just felt like it was too late for me to change my habits with my age and body size, I felt like it would take too long.

One day I came to realize how unfaire I was being to my self and body.

I am so lucky to be married to such a kind and loving man who never gave me a hard time about my weight gain, I will say he is enjoying the changes though.

Sometimes I feel frustrated when the weight doesn't change @ times. I don't always loose weight but I think its because it takes time for our bodies to adjust to change and when we finally get in sink with the new life stile we soon start to shed the pounds. I  have not lost more then a pound since the last time I posted my weight loss :( I still am eating healthy and working out. I even pushed my self harder this past week.

30 minutes on bike

32 minutes on the stepper
and 1 mile on speed walking
I've only eaten  out once this week
I just had 1/2 beef taco with a few bites of rice and 1 glass of soda
every day I only drink water and eat healthy
I work out really hard but for some reason I feel a little down today

My husband told me to take a break from working out today because of some cramps I've  had in my leg
He says I am over doing it.  Why am I not seeing any more improvement on the weight loss?

Sorry this is one of those down days
I will not give up!!!!
I have come to far!!!
If I gave up now I would be right back were I started!!!

I feel it is important to blog truthfully instead of just stating the positive I need to mention the down days too.

Enjoy every moment with those you love

This is not going to be blog about my weight loss today, I want to share about a very special friend of mine. Last December she lost her mother to Cancer. I've known her and her mom for close to 15 years and have to say what an amazing family they are and were. Candace showed so much love and support to her daughter Kelly. With all the dreams Kelly has worked so hard for, Candace has been by her side through all the travels and meeting with individuals who can help Kelly with her dreams in music.

I have never seen such a devoted mom who loved cared and showed so much support. Kelly mentioned her mom would read books on any subject to help her rase her daughter the best she could. Candace was and artist in so many ways with nature and with painting. She found beauty in all she created!

Last December we lost our dear friend Candace to Cancer. I remember what a brave young lady Kelly was and how she put together a beautiful service for her loving moms memory. So many friends and family came from all over to remember our dear Candace, We all wore bright colors and told many funny and happy stories of our memories of Candace then we all wrote a note and placed them on Blue and White Balloons we released them all.

Today my dear friend Kelly is now dealing with her fathers illness of Cancer. He will soon be leaving this life as well. My heart breaks for my dear friend and pray she will be able to feel so much love in her heart and know how much we all love and care for her.

If you have a moment please say a prayer for my dear friend Kelly and her father who, at this moment do not have much time life together. Hug your loves ones and tell them how much you care about them, we never know how short this life is going to be.

Some of her outdoor art

When I first met them both at my wedding

Candace & Kelly
at Christmas a few years ago

Some of Candace's paintings

I love this photo! They looks so Happy!!!!

Pushed myself harder today

After a really long workout this morning with my handsome husband, I went to the store with my son James, realizing through my workout we will most likely have a barbecue this afternoon. I decided I can eat healthy at the same time. I picked up some salmon, baked it and ate that instead of hotdogs :)

You can always find a substitute instead of eating what every one else is eating. It can still be enjoyable too...

I stepped up my workout today and pushed myself harder this week. I truly feel allot of pain but I am ok with that.

I did 30 minutes today!!!!

still did my usual 20 minutes on the stepper
only because at this point Jim was ready to leave

broke in some new shoes made my speed walking
a little painful but worth every step!!!

Starting to shrink

Before I started working out

After I've been working out
Its not the best picture, I just completed working out
I still have a long way to go but I do see some change
and that makes me want to work harder :)

I thought it was time to do a side by side
view of how much weight I have lost

Some days can be a challenge

My husband still like to buy fating snacks and soda.
I know that if I eat just one or drink just one I will find my self back down a lonely road.

So while these drinks are in the fridge, with cookies and chips on the counter. I enjoy a nice tall glass
of ice cold water and some sugar free hard candy's.

We went to see Men in black 3 tonight and of course there is dinner and a movie with lots of popcorn and fating foods. So I decided to have a nice cold salad while my husband and son munched down on popcorn.

So after the movie, I was already full so we went to In n Out to pick up some food for my family.
I was thrilled knowing I did not feel like eating any more food since I chose to have a salad instead.

Summer Clothing! Do I say more!!!

Since I have gained so much weight in the past few years, I have not enjoyed shopping for clothing

I truly have not like buying summer clothes.

Today I decided to step out of my shell and buy some summer clothing.

We are going to CA in week from today and I do need to wear something that works for the season.

So I found some cute outfits I thought might be fun to wear, now I never choose a tank top for fear of the way my arms look and have never like to show any skin.

I would usually were so much clothing some might think I did not know it was summer.

Or my clothing would be so baggie I would look even heavier.

I do think it is time to enjoy my curves and feel proud of the changes I am making.

I do not have really good taste but I hope you will enjoy the choices I have made.....

Learning to let go of painful experiences

After my workout this morning, I spent some time with my Grandfather who is 

Almost 95 He is a World War II Vet.

I had some time today to ponder why I sometimes have difficulty with depression and anxiety. I have come to realize these are some of the key factors that led to my weight gain.

There is some issues with my past I have never really taken the time to deal with. Starting with as a  young child being teased and bullied through school, I did not have allot of self worth. 

I remember having some hurtful things happen were there was a group of kid who played a truly sad joke on me. I remember key points of the joke, I will not mention all the details, Just that is was the last day of middle school. 

I asked some girls to sign my shirt in the girls locker room. They wrote some truly hurtful words on my back, but that was not the worst part of the story.

Lets just say they placed something on my back, I walked out into the gym where the girls and boys gathered around me in a circle and started laughing.

One of the girls ran up and pulled the item off my back and threw it on the floor. I was so humiliated and ran back into the locker room. 

I could share so many more storys, about my childhood. Its not important I just come to realize that if I don't feel self worth, then I will not succeed in changing my life.

Later in life I married a man I thought was the one. Once again I had no self worth, It started good but later it became very painful. I had been kicked punched told what "Bch" "Slt" "Hre" and so on. 

He cheated on me and constantly told me he did not love me. I stuck with him for almost 7 years.

Soon after I left him, I met an incredible man who I have been with for almost 15 years. He is an amazing loving husband, by the way he never  has complained about my weight gain. He is an amazing father, husband and friend.

This is not easy sharing such personal things of my life and past. Its scary to have my life out there for others to read. So this is a challenge to share my life with everyone. I do believe this is also a way to heal myself and grow then I can move forward and become a stronger person.
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This was taken a few years ago @ my nephew 's  reception

My son James is almost @ eye level now :)
He will be turning 13 in September.

Looking back and realizing how much weight I have truly put on since this photo was taken.

It truly makes me want to work even harder to take off all the weight in order to be healthy.

Amazing love and support from friends and family

20 minutes on the stepper I will try and push it further next week.

15 minutes on the bike I wish I could go further but right now my knees cause me pain.
I am trying to strengthen them so I can do so much more.
Most likely its because of the weight they have had to deal with for several years...


Last night my family and I went to see a movie.
Before we saw "Dark Shadows" We went to dinner @ Cafe Rio
I thought it wont hurt to have my favoriate meal if I down size.


My weeknes is the pork tacos, Usually we would get chips and guacamole with salsa
I would get 2 tacos and some rice and beans.


Instead I only had one taco and nothing else.


When we go to the movies, we usually get large popcorn and lots of butter on top
I usually get some candy and a drink as well.


last night I took some sugar free hard candy with me. That took care of my sweet tooth
I did not eat any of the popcorn. I did have the drink but I didn't drink hardly any...


I think I did really good last night. I told myself with all the hard work I have done with working
out and eating better. I did not want to mess things up by giving myself permission to splurge.


I can do this. I have so many amazing wonderful friends and family who are giving me so much love and support!!!
I am grateful. I decided yesterday to post my blog on my facebook page.
I was not sure what responses I would receive. I am so thankful for all the out poring of
love and support I have received from my friends and family!!!
I thank you all,  love you all!!!

Love yourself enough to say NO!!!!

I am so excited even though its only 2 more lb's I am now below  200!!!!

I truly pushed myself harder today I worked out for 20 minutes on stepper

I worked out 15 minutes on the bike

I speed walked 1 mile today

Todays workout was amazing I was so sweaty when I was finished. I am paying attention to when I want to eat the wrong foods and why. It does have allot to do with my moods.

I work in customer service and dealt with a difficult call. A customer was truly hurtful towards me, I took it personal.
After work I wanted to eat fast food. I realize when I am sad I feel fating food is comforting. Learning how to listen to our bodies we can learn to find new ways to deal with these emotions.

Before you pick up some fast food, take a walk eat some fruit. Love yourself enough to say no! I realized there is going to be moments in my life were I will feel alone sad and stressed
to the point I will want to comfort myself. I am creating a plan for me and my emotions so I can avoid eating when I am not hungry but sad.....

Do you need a home gym? Like this one? Beyond Diet shows you how.

I'm committed to keeping myself healthy and happy

I really am learning so many ways to improve and motivate my life through this journey


"BeyondDiet.com"

These are some examples of ideas you learn about helping better yourself. 
I truly recommend this journey to anyone who wishes to start now and make a life change.

1. Clear your mind
2. Believe what you are doing (Dont let others sabotage your getting healthy)
3. Eliminate negative thinking
4. Commit yourself to doing the work
5. Set goals and positive affirmations 


In this program you learn ways to make life changes not just with eating habits but with lifestyle.
You learn ways to move past the weight and more towards feeling better, healthy and full of life.
This is a journey worth taking.


*If its natural Then Eat It!
*If its artificial Don't Eat It!
*Eat clean and unprocessed foods for now on!


             

Worth every ache and pain

Today speed walking 1 mile around the track

Then I worked 5 rounds on the stepper for 20 minutes

I weighed in at 200 lb's this morning 

I am not discouraged I know its going fluctuate here and there

I will continue on 

Knowledge is power

These are some of the changes I have started to make. 

My son is really enjoying the new food choices. He does not like giving up soda though.

I learned that eating processed foods cause more problems for your body.

 most processed foods use ingredients that could take longer to process through the liver.

When I learned this, I had a greater understanding of why these foods are not helpful.

Even the choices in butter can make a difference. 

This program mentions that real butter is better for you then imitation butter.

They say in Beyond Diet if you do not know what that ingredient means 

neither does your liver "WOW" a real eye opener

I truly learned so much about what these food do to our body.

Its true when they say "knowledge is power"

I am worth more then a label

I would say it has been several years since I would love to have my picture taken. Any time our family would spend time together, I would avoid the camera.  I do not like the way I look on the outside. I often would tell myself I want to make a change. Then I would loose the energy and continue down a lonely road of eating and drinking everything I knew inside was so wrong to share with my body.  Then one day after having so many moments of aches and pains in my knees and joints I realized I really do need to show more love and kindness to myself.  I met with my dr a month ago weighing in at 208 lb's* wow, I cannot believe I just shared how much I have gained in my life. This is the largest I have been. I could have felt really sad and helpless, Instead I asked my Dr what can I do to make changes in my life. He mentioned a website I should try. Its called "Myfitnesspal.com" I went home and decided I would start working out. I began going to the gym and walking. I also decided to start strengthening my knees with the bike. Now I new if I did not make a change with my body my health could only get worse! after a couple of week working out and cutting down on soda. That was the toughest part! I could go through at least 12 cans if not more a day of pepsi, never drinking water. So as you can imagine giving soda up was truly a challenge. But I did it :) I noticed I was having more energy. Its a good start. Then one day I realized I need to do more. So I signed onto my computer and decided to check out this website my dr told me about. I do not know how I ended up on another website called "Beyond Diet" But I do believe it was the best thing to happen to me.  I spent a couple hours learning all I could about the foods I have always taken short cut to eat and feed my family. I had no Idea why they were so wrong for me, by taking these short cuts I have contributed to my weight gain and many health problems. So I started the diet, no not diet, I started to make changes in my life!   Its now 2 weeks later and I have lost 10LB's*! Not only that but I have started changing what I feed my family. I know this is the best thing to ever happen to me!
I can do this!!!! I will do this!!!!

This picture I added to this blog, I really do not like, but I know if I place it here I can remind myself why I am making these changes. I want to have courage and not be afraid any longer about how I look and feel. I want to prove to myself that I am worth more Then how I have always seen myself. So this photo I have always tried to hide. I would of course find photos from years ago when I was thiner, I would lie to myself and not admit the truth. So here is the truth "I AM FAT!!!!!" But I am worth more then that label. I hope you will enjoy this journey with me! With my will power and any support I receive I can change my life! I will change my life!!!